Posted by: George Kimani | July 1, 2017

Allow her ask questions


Women love to ask questions, men hate them since they believe they got it all figured out.

Most men believe they know what they are doing at all times. Many don’t like questions. They hate to be questioned and rarely ask questions themselves. It is interesting how a man will struggle to figure directions to a place while all he could have done is asked the guard around the corner.

Due to their nature, men don’t want to be questioned especially by their spouses or girlfriends. On the other hand their women often burn with thimagese desire to question things. This questioning thing can really get down relationships.

Many men see questions to mean their women are either complaining or are doubting them. For the good men, they genuinely work hard for their family and believe their women should enjoy their sweat and not question them. Cheeky men and the patriarchal kind on the other hand get defensive when questions are asked since they either think they are being investigated or the woman want to get in control.

On the other side women believe they have a stake in their husband’s life and are just looking out for the welfare of the union or family. In good scenarios which I believe are the most cases, when women are asking questions they want to ensure things are ok. Women have the sixth sense and often see something most men won’t see, that’s why men should allow women into their lives to ask questions. Allowing your woman to ask questions, criticize your plans and dreams doesn’t make you weak neither does it make them in charge, it enriches you.

I learnt this a week ago when I decided to give my sister an old phone. Immediately I handed it over, my wife asked me for it and checked whether I had removed my stuff from the memory card. Interestingly I had forgotten. You see women are into details, while men look into the bigger picture. For success both the small details and the bigger picture are important. Therefore the woman should expect that the man will at times miss the small details, while the man should allow the woman to check these.

Even as the woman gets her way to ask questions it is good not to make the man look stupid, sloppy or careless. Identifying the small things your man misses doesn’t in any way make your superior or perfect; it makes you an asset in the success of your union.

The surest way to lock your man from letting you into his world is becoming a constant critic of everything he does. Try enriching his plans instead. I always find it irresistible when my wife says:

“Lovely idea, how about we add a different twist to it……” or “I don’t say I am right but I think this would be better if you did it differently.” At times she has no answer but she has a lead.

Secondly make it a habit to show admiration to your man’s achievements, big or small. This way when you criticize something else he will appreciate it since you don’t always do it

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