Posted by: George Kimani | November 20, 2015

Ladies! When to Say YES| George Kimani


A while ago I met a college girl who had just been “dumped” and she was in much hurt and pain. She had given in to the pursuit of a handsome college mate only to be dumped after five months. The challenge is that by the time of the break-up she had given up all her heart and body. The guy vanished as fast as he came but not before enjoying a few escapades.

Not so long ago my friends friend told me a similar story of her sister. The girl who had high hopes of starting a family with a man she had met a year ago was devastated after he caught the man he loved in bed with another woman. Not only had she given him her heart and body but also her money.

proposal-pfThe high ranking PR Assistant with a promising career even moved in with the man in the hope that they would soon tie the nuptials. When she asked the man why he had betrayed her he insisted that he had never promised to marry her and was just dating her, trying to see whether things would work. When she recollected the man had never committed to her; he had only been a good man treating her nicely.

These stories and more I have heard about broken hearts point to the question, just when is it right to commit to someone, just when is it right to say yes to his proposal. Many people keep asking me when is it safe to fall in love or commit?. Others ask: for how long should I know someone before committing to them?

Sadly there are no outright answers to these two questions yet getting them right could hold a key to protecting many people especially women from breakups. The point at which you commit to a woman or a man in the relationship is very critical and the timing should be just right. I would say ensure that you are safest when you commit.

Be sure you know what you are doing and you are not just under the influence of emotions or infatuation. Try his/ her love severally and carefully before giving in. Missing this could cost you dearly later in life. Better take it slow and get late than arrive there in pieces.

Marriage should be a conscious decision made by two people assessing their feelings, personalities, stages in life, goals and circumstances and ensuring that all these and more are compatible. Compatible does not mean perfect but workable. To remain safe and secure it is good to keep your body safe.

Sex should never be part of the dating fun but a marriage responsibility.

So often like the cousin of my friend we keep assuming we are in love while our ‘partners’ are trying it out; they are having fun. If you think you are assuming too much and he is not saying anything it is time to demand to know your status. If your attraction for him/her is becoming too much and he/she is not reciprocating or saying it then it’s time to review it and see what you want.

The notion that love is uncontrollable is a fallacy, an escape tag we all love to hold onto when we fail to be in charge. We should take charge and stop allowing nature to take its course. The words ‘I love you’ are strong and special, am not sure you want to say them to a person who is trying out to see whether you are lovable. Isn’t it unfair to keep saying these words to a man/woman who says nothing but only pleasures in enjoying your body or money?

When you are mean with intimate words and acts you raise your worth at the same time keep off jokers and fun loving fanatics. If men or women know they can easily get in and out your heart or wallet, they will have no shame in getting in and out without notice, leaving you wounded and used.

The prudence to take dating as the pre-love stage or the trial stage ensures you avoid the common mistakes we all make of assuming we are in love when we are not. It helps us to commit at the right time and eliminate the so often breakups.

Above all let God’s word be the light to your path in love, he surely knows how to guide you to a caring man who will not take advantage of you.

 

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