Posted by: George Kimani | August 6, 2015

My Journey in Marriage 2 year’s on| George Kimani


Two years ago today, I walked down the aisle and married my high school friend, yes friend no string attached then. At the time, we were just friends serving in the Christian Union. I still remember like she does introducing her to my family members during those visiting days, not knowing I was lying ground for one who would become my wife. Today I call her my lover, my own, even sweetheart is her name; she is my love and a great wife.

A day like this, I was excited of the new life I was getting into, just like any newlywed- but at the same time unsure of how life would turn up to be. I can summarize my journey in marriage as an interesting one. me iLike every lovebirds we had our dreams and plans. Talk about where we would be in five years in terms of children, relationship, careers, finances….. Looking back now, I have mixed results. There are things I expected to have attained by now but I haven’t. On the other side there are others I didn’t even think of but I have them. Like the bible says a man plans but the lord establishes.

The greatest lesson I have learnt so far is that the ‘event that is wedding’ is for the community, the society, it’s for my friends and family members, but marriage is mine with my wife and that it’s a personal affair’. When getting married you are happy; but what you should know is that staying happy in marriage is a personal decision which not even your spouse can make for you. One has to make a personal and conscious decision to make it work.

The most important part of the wedding vows is “for better, for worse.” When you are getting married “for better” is probably what makes more sense then since you are all happy and excited. When you get into it you realize that there are new things to learn about your spouse, there are personality traits that you might have to sacrifice for the sake of your spouse and there are sacrifices you need to make along the way. Love is a personal decision.

Deciding to marry someone should be because you want to marry her/him and not just because you love them and they think it is time to get married. When it is a personal decision, you have the strength to stick by it and fight for your love even when it doesn’t make sense to remain married. However if  you got married due to pressure from family or friends, when it is tough your mind goes back to thinking that someone pushed you into the misery you are in then you can easily fall off.

While dating there is always some drive to do something to make your partner happy, while the same drive is in marriage to some couples it is not always there. Sometimes it is not because you love them less but because you have gotten used to each other and you think by cooking for him and keeping the home or providing for her you are doing well. However meeting needs doesn’t keep marriage happy, you will need to go beyond the normal and do something different. Remember to buy her that precious gift, take her out for the dinner she craves for, take time in cooking his favorite meal, and get intimate even when you feel you are too tired or buy him that phone that you know he longs for.

Around us, everyone seems to know how best we should run our marriage. If you spoke to your mother, uncle, cousin, sister or even friends they are likely to find a fault in how he/she treats you. While sometimes they may have genuine concerns they lack inside information. They don’t know how you relate with your spouse inside the walls of your house and are therefore subjective in their views.

I have come to appreciate that marriage is personal and we are the one to run it the best way it suits the spouse and I. If for example we have decided to use all our monies together that is a personal choice and despite painful experiences of others who have tried it and failed, I am determined to stick to it and make it work for us.  When you are dating all you see is this perfect person with just one or two faults or none. Shock on you when you get into marriage and realize they have a myriad of weaknesses. The good news however is that you too have many weaknesses. More interesting is that some of these weaknesses or personality traits don’t come out till you start living with someone else.

I have come to appreciate that love is personal in that I have to learn to appreciate her weak points as I acknowledge mine and everyday work towards emphasizing our strengths more. There is always a temptation as human beings to see the speck in her eye and ignore the log in mine, but it takes maturity to ignore that urge and to do what is fair. At the end of the day, how your love turns out is how well you make the various personal decisions that come your way. Happy 2nd anniversary to my lovely wife Jess and I.

Advertisements

Responses

  1. Have always enjoyed reading what you write. Thanks bro and happy anniversary.

  2. wow great lessons there.Happy for you guys.

  3. Happy 3rd Anniversary!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: